Would We Be Better Off If We Could Always Tell When Someone Is Lying to Us?

In one sense, we're better off not knowing when someone is lying to us. For instance, many lies we encounter are designed to make us feel better about ourselves. Such lies bolster our self-esteem and lead us to have an enhanced sense of self-worth (even if it is built on untruths). For example, we'd rather hear that we're not putting on weight than receive the message that our suspicions that we're looking fatter are true. Similarly, we'd rather be told that our work is first-rate than that it's lacking in some fundamental ways.

But in a far more important sense, we're better off knowing when another person is lying to us. Each time we are duped by the lie of another—even a lie designed to make us feel better about ourselves—we are constructing a false view of the world, as well as ourselves. The relationship that we have with the liar is inauthentic, and the view that we hold of ourselves is inaccurate.

Ultimately, then, we would be better off always knowing the truth. The reality, though, is that it's not a state of affairs over which we have much choice. Most of us are not very good at detecting the deception of others, and the level of deception that people face in their everyday lives is remarkably high. So most of us are doomed to be duped on a regular basis.

Robert Feldman is dean of the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences and a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and the author of The Liar in Your Life.